A: I don't know the answer to your question, but I disagree with your overall premise. Just because you are 67 doesn't mean you can't find a partner with whom to have safer sex, and a relationship that will bring you so much more than just anonymous phone sex. I understand the need to relieve sexual frustration, and if you can find a way to do that through phone sex that is reasonably priced, then go right ahead. But I would recommend that you don't do it so often that you remove all of your desire to have sex with a partner. Use some of the sexual frustration to force yourself out into the world, where hopefully you'll meet someone.

Q: Following surgery eight months ago, I discovered to my horror that I had no sexual desire. My husband is a wonderful and caring man, and eventually I began to make progress, returning to my "old" sexual self. The problem is that now the only way he can bring me to orgasm is through oral sex, and even then, to me, it seems to take a long time. I've talked to my doctors but can't seem to get any answers as to what is going on, or not, here. What do you suggest?

A: I understand your desire to have your sex life go back to the way it was before your surgery, but rather than looking at this situation from the negative point of view, it seems to me you should be looking at all the positive improvement there's been. Now, perhaps your sex life will continue to improve, but even if it doesn't, the facts that you can have orgasms and that you do want to have sex with your husband are wonderful. And I can see why doctors aren't offering you any solutions, as probably letting more time pass is really the only answer. So it's time for you to start looking at the glass as being half-full instead of half-empty, develop some patience and see what happens.

Q: I was just wondering, with two guys who have always had protected sex with women and have been tested for all diseases, could these two men engage in anal sex together without wearing a condom? These two men are of the age of majority and always have used condoms before with women. This will be their first male-to-male sex act. Is it OK not to use a condom?

A: The need for condom use to prevent disease exists only if there is a risk of disease. If two people, of any sex, have been tested and found to be disease-free, and there's no risk of pregnancy, then condom use isn't mandatory. Of course, there's "tested" and "tested." Not every test is rigorous, so it's possible for a person to have been tested and found not to have any disease and still be carrying a disease. It's also possible to be tested, given a clean slate of health and then have sex and catch a disease. So you must have 100 percent confidence in the other person that he or she has not had sex with anyone since the test. (And even if he or she had sex with a condom, condoms don't offer 100 percent protection against all diseases.) So, while the situation you describe may sound risk-free, it's not. The risk may be small, so don't ask for my permission, but instead decide for yourself whether you want to take that risk or make the situation safer by using condoms.